83 0 Updated: 2020-01-14 18:25:57 Listed: 2020-01-14 Report WEB ID: 619



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- I think  we generally agree that never expressing real feelings and repressing all negative thoughts doesn't lead to positive communication. It's a great relief to allow ourselves the benefit of acknwledging our human weaknesses and going after more honest relationships with others. But we need to strike a balance between telling it all and telling nothing.

- Recently i received a letter from a mother who had been persuaded by her troubled twenty-five-year-old son to attend a family discussion group with him. Under pressure from the group, her defenses collapsed and she head herselflelling her son for the first time that he had been an accident-- that she hadn't been planning to have a child. He in turn told her  that he couldn't recall a single day in his childhood that he had been happy.

- This woman wrote, " we cried and we became friends again; i thought telling the truth had been good for us. But the trouble is, it wasn't the whole truth. By the time Tommy was born i did want him, and at times he was happy. Ever since that day, we've both been haunted by some terrible feelings we shared."

- I've come to the conclusion that some things are better left unsaid. Honesty is best as long as we know what the truth really is --- but most of  the time we don't. It's a fine goal to encourage children to express their real feelings. And many marriages have been saved by an open confrontation of deep and painful misunderstandings. But we need a new sense of balance. "Telling it like it is". or saying exactly how you feel, is not a solution for every problem nor even an end in itself. It's useful and freeing under some  circumstances and terribly hurtful and damaging under others.

- It's a good idea. i thing , to bite your tongue for ten or fifteen seconds before saying what's on your mind. Try to decide whether it's going to open up new and better avenues of communication or leave wounds that may never leal.

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